Spice of Life w/ Suga: Q & A Session 16

unhappyDear Suga,

What do you do when helping someone out starts to make you unhappy?

Sincerely,

Stressed

Dear Stressed,

It is a great thing to be in a position to help someone. At the same time, your happiness is priceless. You are the only one that can make you happy so if doing something for someone is hindering that you may have to stop. I’ve been in a situation where helping someone brought on resentment and it wasn’t that they were wrong. I was wrong for helping them knowing that it would eventually bother me. We all try to help people out because we would hope to get the same in return but sometimes you just can’t put yourself on the back burner. You don’t want to jeopardize the relationship just because you said yes to something you really wanted to say no to. Explain to them that you’ve done all you can but you can no longer do it. Hopefully they’ll understand but if not, that’s okay too. Your happiness is all on you!

 

 

cheaterDear Suga,

My friend is being cheated on by her boyfriend and I don’t know what to do. Should I tell her?

Sincerely,

Wanting to be a good friend

 

Dear Wanting to be a good friend,

This is a tough question. There are one of two things that could happen should you choose to tell her what’s going on. She will be thankful that you told her or she will be mad that you did. You could not tell her and watch it continue to happen. You really have to think about your friendship with her. Is this your best friend? How do you think she would react? Would she thank you or wish you hadn’t told her? Does she know already and just hasn’t told you? There are so many things to consider when decided to tell. Would you want to know if the situation was reversed? Personally, I knew of a friend being cheated on and didn’t tell because another best friend had told me to keep it to myself and when years later she found out he had been cheating I felt bad because I could’ve saved her the heartache of being in the relationship longer than she had to be. But I didn’t know how she would react to hearing. Honestly, I still don’t know how she would have reacted. Whatever you decide remember that there’s a chance you will lose her as a friend. She may forgive him and tell him you told her and he not want you around anymore and she may agree. Think about that ultimately. Do you love your friend enough to potentially lose her?

I hope you come to a decision because it’s a really tough one to make.

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