As a woman I’ve dated different guys. Some things they all had in common and obviously some things were different. What seems to ring true with a lot of them was the attachment to their male friends. Now I won’t pretend I have all the answers to it but I decided that it would be a good thing to write about since I know a lot of women who are confused by this same issue. I am going to try to look at both sides of it so maybe us women can try to understand you men a little better.
Now I think that friendship is one of the most important relationships you can have with someone. I have very few friends but I hold the ones I have dearly. But it seems like the attachment men have with each other boggles most women. We just don’t get it. I know some guys who seem to have to be around each other all the time. Like if they go a few days without each other there’s something wrong. To me this kind of co-dependent thing can’t be healthy. I mean I have friends whom I’m close to and we can go months and years without seeing each other but if we ever need each other, we’re right there. I love these friendships because they allow us to have space. We get time to miss each other. I don’t ever want to be so attached to someone that I don’t know what to do with myself if they’re not around. But guys can spend as much as 8 hours around each other and never get bored. That’s weird to me and a lot of women I know. Personally, at 3am I’d prefer to be with my man than sitting around some girls. Guys still being around each other that late and they have women at home confuse the hell outta me. And I’ve made jokes to boyfriends about how gay it seems and that pisses them off but ask any woman and she has the same confusion. I know male camaraderie is important but I’d like to understand it.
Now I know that some men feel that being in a relationship and having children can cause them to lose that male bonding time and all that good stuff. As a secure woman, I think men should have that. I think it’s important to be around people who get some of the jokes that women find disgusting. I get that you need men around who can help you navigate through your relationship and through parenthood. I understand that you need people you can vent to about your women just like women do. The only thing is we don’t need that all the time. I wonder if men think that being at home sometimes makes them feel like they’re losing their manhood, like it makes them soft. I mean a lot of women, including myself would like to understand. A woman should not have to fight for your attention or feel like she has to keep you hostage to spend time with her and the kids. A man’s priority should be to his family and sadly a lot of men say it is but act completely opposite. Now guys tend not to see it this seriously but it actually is. It causes us to wonder about your dedication to your family. I’ve seen it ruin relationships and to me it’s something that can get rectified. The problem is most men think that any issue we have is exaggerated. And this one isn’t.
Women just want to be as important to you as your friends are. Actually, we should be more important but that’s just my opinion. It’s hard to build a life with someone that you’re fighting to get attention from. Men you just need to learn how to better spread your time. It’s a balancing act but it’s doable!
Remember, I’m here to answer any questions and help you get through your relationships. No question is too crazy so drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and subscribe to view my replies. As long you keep it real w/ Suga, then believe that Suga will keep it real w/ you. Till’ then take care and go get yo’ life…