Q: Dear Suga,
I’ve been in a relationship for what seems like forever. What can I do to spice up our sex life? We don’t get much time but I’m bored with the 15min hit it and leave. Even if that’s all we have together how can we make it fun?
In A Rush
A: Dear In A Rush,
I can understand the frustration because that doesn’t seem to allow time for foreplay. One thing I would suggest is that at least twice a week you two try make ample time for sex. I mean dinner, foreplay, the whole thing. Quickies are nice when you don’t have time but it’s important to spend time connecting as well. Also when you do have quickies it might be fun to have them in different places, that way even though they’re quick, it’s somewhat different. One more idea is to add toys! Yes I said toys. This will make sure you reach your peak in the short time you have. We all know that most men probably don’t need a lot of time and last for our benefit so with the addition of toys will definitely add some spice!
Get it in!!
Q: Dear Suga,
Should a man stay with a woman if he’s not in love with her?
Who’s being cheated in a situation like this?
Who’s Getting Hurt?
A: Who’s Getting Hurt?
This can be yes and no. Most people don’t fall in love at the same time so usually there is one who is in love and the other person just isn’t quite there yet. Now if the two are married, I would say no unless they feel they can work on it, though I’ve never been married so I won’t claim to be an expert, I have been in long-term relationships. What I’ve learned from that is that sometimes things can get very monotonous. Sometimes that causes feelings to change. So as I said before, you have to decide if you can be without that person. I think it’s something that can be saved.
As for who would be getting cheated in the situation, I think it’s both parties. I say this because there’s nothing worse than feeling like the love you give is the love you receive. Everybody gives love and receives love differently. There’s a book I love that delves into this further, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. They Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Affection, Quality Time and Gifts. I personally show love and like to receive love in all these ways. Every person deserves to be loved the way they want to be. Sadly, that doesn’t always happen. The party that isn’t in love is being cheated because there may be someone else out there they could be loving and bring them the happiness they may be missing. Communication is important and I think that a conversation about what you two are feeling could be beneficial. I must advise you to not only listen to each other but really hear each other. This really is a skill that needs to be practiced.
Hope everything works out!
Now, I’m here to answer any questions and help you get through your relationships. No question is too crazy so drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and subscribe to view my replies. As long you keep it real w/ Suga, then believe that Suga will keep it real w/ you. Till’ then take care and go get yo’ life…