What Grinds My Gears: Brew City Blues

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I know it’s been awhile but I’ve been trying to be good and be happy for a change. A new year, a new President and a new shade of President, too. Yeah, we finally took back The White House! But it’s 2009, and already it’s starting off rocky for a lot of people. But what I’ve noticed from last year still really grinds my gears this year, too! I’m from Milwaukee, don’t cheer, Wisconsin. And what you got to realize is this will always be home, no one can take that away from you but you. But you got to take in the reality that Milwaukee does not care about you as much as ya’ll unknowingly care about it. No city does, so why hold on to it, the way you do? It took me 26 years to ask myself that. And I can honestly say now that nobody grinds my gears like the City of MILWAUKEE:

THE SCHOOLS: I graduated from Marshall High School.  That should just make you laugh right there. If you attend a high school where the Varsity basketball team has a game of spades on the bench while their game is going on and your classmates start 3 consecutive riots in one day, steal a satellite van, an ice cream truck, completely destroy a mall in front of Channel 4 and all you got to say for it is, “… I had fun.” you’d be sick of this shit after 26 years too! I don’t know what MPS is thinking about these days! You see them on the news, talking like they got everything under control. WTF!!!

THE TRAFFIC: If there is one place, in America, that needs an increase in road rage murders, it’s MILWAUKEE. For real, count how many times you say things like, “Muthaf@cka, can you go!?” or “B*tch, move!” and my favorite “Keep on and see what happens!” I actually like to see people get angry at other drivers while they’re driving. I think it’s funny as hell! Remember how people used to just make traffic jam up just so you could see them? You would leave the club and cars would just be parked in the middle of the street for no reason other than to be seen. Ain’t that a bitch!? Gas go up, now every car got at least 4 people in it.

THE SOCIAL EVENTS: Fighting in the club isn’t foreign to me. I’m used to it, always have been. But in MILWAUKEE, that’s like part of the experience. Park, then get in line, then pay to get in, then greet the people you know, then buy some drinks, knock them b*tches back, hit the dance floor, fight break out, drunk girl falls down, 6 n****z laugh, the DJ grabs a track for you to shoot out to, you get pulled outside, somebody tries to sell you cheeseburgers and chicken wings out of a plastic bag, you eat the cheeseburger and laugh all the way to the car cause your tipsy as sh*t eating a big ass welfare burger while a fight is going on, get in the car, you realize you’re tired, you leave the parking only to get stuck in traffic WTF!!!

THE SPORTS TEAMS: I think I speak for everyone in this city when I say that everyone in the Bucks Organization & the Packers Organization should get together, have some 10 or 15 drinks and go play in traffic blindfolded. Out of all the teams that play for this dump, The Brewers is the only organization that showed me they cared about being better. And now they can’t stop talking about what somebody said about Brett Farve. Someone said Farve didn’t socialize with the team like he should’ve and he’s a diva quarterback. And the whole time I’m thinking, isn’t he a Jet? What does that have to do with us being 6-10 in Green Bay? They got people to handle that already, we need to be focused on fixing our sh*t. We watching the same playoffs he is, this year!

THE PEOPLE: You got to love them because we all feel the same way about MILWAUKEE. But you just hate the fact that the people here are a little too involved in things you’re trying to do for yourself. The places you like to go, the people you like to see & what you want to do for your amusement. Like the way you living is just incontinence to us all of a sudden. That’s f@cked up! It’s 2009, and the first month into it I got people with their thumb in my eye telling me how I to be me!? And some of us take the sh*t, and end up doing the same thing to other people down the line. While the rest either get sick of it and leave or stay here, go crazy and fight the first n***a to look at us funny.

I’ll never find the words to describe a city like this. Not enough curse words in the English language for me to try now. But I can say this, I was born here but a lot of people had to pass on for me to know I don’t have to stay here. So with all my love, from the bottom of my heart… Go f*ck yourself, MILWAUKEE! And be thankful you’re nothing like DETROIT.

Written By: Larry D. Williams II

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