May 13, 2011 at 3:13am

Well… Well… Welll. What a difference a year makes! Don’t you agree? I mean a year ago 2day, it was all about the shortage of jobs, the decrease of unemployment bail-outs, the Celtics and Lakers again, remember “The Decision”, free Tip, “Who Dat gon’ beat dem Saints?”. Well the jobs are still short but growing, a lot of folks had to go get a hustle outside of them free checks, safe to say no more Celts or Lake-show for awhile, the decision was made in Miami, uh…. Free Tip if you think it’ll help… I guess. And damn near everybody beat the Saints! So what now? Hmmmmmm…. Oh yeah! The President is a U.S. citizen…. Yaaaay. Had some real battles pop off so far this year. But really were they even necessary!? I mean we honestly have run out of things to be angry about. Now, I know I raise hell about a lot of shit that ya’ll deem to be “stupid” or “pointless”, but at least I will acknowledge it. These fuckers in powerful places truly want to believe that you are all stupid enough not to question their disagreements… And some of you are, but not ya’ll reading this here. You guys are cool! Don’t believe me? Let’s run some of my beefs that are trending on popular debates….

Barack Obama vs. Donald Trump: Here is a beef that came totally out of left field. As if Barack hasn’t had enough of a hard time dealing with criticism from unemployed poor people, now he got got rich people pissed off too! Trump is a trip because if you really think about it, all he did was watch how popular we the people made him and say, “Hey, I should run for head of state.” Just like that! Trump and his hair piece running for President and Vice President of the U.S.A…. And people really hate this idea but actually, I’m embracing it. Look, President Obama broke a very strong ceiling among my black people and it’s very hard for people to understand the significance to this if you’ve never had a person of your race left in charge of something as big and as controversial a country as America. But, let’s be honest. The first few years were all TV and public relations. Then it was other bullshit like sports picks that could have been equated to some other celebrity. Not the HEAD OF STATE!!! It was naive to believe that he could CHANGE the way the government operates. Just ask JFK…. Oh wait. He made some things happen for this country indeed but to be honest… He needed to kill Osama Bin Ladi Da Di just for this country to talk to him. That being said, I support my black people to the fullest and Trump running is helpful to Democrats holding office. Shit, if Obama has at least 40%, Trump can easily snatch 30%, leaving the Liberals and Palin’s punk ass T-Bag Party fighting for the remaining 30%. That’s a can of whoop ass to all his critics, but this time Barack… You got to a lot of work left to do.

Speaking of nailin’ Palin….

Common & Jill Scott vs. Sarah Palin & FOX news: When did freedom of speech become so detrimental to the White House? I mean FOX news blatantly ignored Common’s entire musical catalog, his body of work and charity to blast him for a poem he wrote. Last election, they defended TED NUGENT for telling Hilary Clinton to “Tongue kiss a shotgun!” but Common has to apologize for saying “Burn Bush“? Really? They called him a misogynist, a thug, a gangster rapper. I was waiting for them to just say the “N” word! Palin got in on the attack, like she was familiar with his music and FOX News backed her dumb ass up. People don’t realize the level of ignorance being circulated by this bitch sometimes. Even Jill Scott caught some drama for an old interview where she said “… My soul winced when my black friend told me he was marrying a white woman.” Now for anyone that has or even had a black female for a friend knows how some of the sistas feel about that. Let’s be clear! If she admits her discomfort for that, is that wrong? Ok, now do you think if Bristol Palin’s baby daddy was a 6’3″ n***a named Leroy, Ms. Palin wouldn’t trip either? I’ll let you think about it………………. Ok. NEXT!!!!!!

2012 vs. REVELATIONS: Ok so…. We have this Mayan calendar that has everybody bugging about when the world is going to end. We got illuminati DVDs circulating in the hood and the suburbs now. People getting questioned about this Masonic stuff and some of these allegations are pretty out there. Personally, I will not question the BIBLE because it is the word. But I will question a calendar, that other people claim predicts the end of the world but couldn’t predict the end of the fuckers that made it. Seriously, how can this calendar predict the end of the world, when none of these Mayans exist anymore…..? Period. That’s who you will listen to? So now they’re 2Pac!? “We dead now but in 2012 you fools is going to feel it!!!!”

THE NBA-EASTERN CONFERENCE vs. WESTERN CONFERENCE: Is it safe to say that there will be a new champion this year and it will be out of the east? HELL NO!!!! We got four new teams fighting for a chance to play for the trophy this year. And yet, all you hear is MIAMI this and MIAMI that…. Reminds me of all that CAVS talk last year. You have 4 other really great, young, fresh match ups for the Heat. Yes MIAMI is exciting to watch… So is any team when they win. Now you want to give the ring to a team already? Why? Because Lebron plays for them? They beat PHILLY (no comment) and they beat the CELTICS (injuries). Are ya’ll really fans or do ya’ll just wait till the playoffs come around so ya’ll can piss off actual basketball fans?! If that is so… Please go out, buy the freshest #6 Heat jersey you can find, roll it up into a tube, turn that sum’ bitch sideways and STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDYASS!!!! If DALLAS goes you’re in for a treat. If MEMPHIS goes you’re in for a war. If OKLAHOMA goes you got a ring coming in four games. But first you got to get past…. DAAAAAAAAAAAA BULLS. A team that knows how to get in ya’ll ass defensively. Call me hater, but I’m a Wade fan, I love Pat Riley’s organization, I think Chris Bosh is a closet homosexual and an undercover drag queen and I think the idea of three guys scoring all the points, making all rebounds, blocking all the shots and basically doing all the work is only good enough for so long. You need a team to win. Not a team of three, an entire team. I hate shortcuts and this is exactly what some of ya’ll fans advocate in the NBA. So get ready… It’s going to get really interesting from here on out. FUCK LEBRON!!!!!!!!!!

AMERICAN IDOL vs. THE VOICE: Riddle me this…. Out of all the previous winners in the past, exactly how many of them really became AMERICAN IDOLs. Before you answer, let’s weed out the obvious. I’m talking about record sales, fashion trends, media exposure, and sponsorship, everything they are supposed to influence in order to be an IDOL in AMERICA. Now how many winners have blown up in those categories? Here, take a moment to think about it………. Better yet let me help you. You can say Kelly Clarkson but she had to break away from their mold to reach her musical success. Then after that gone. You can say Carrie Underwood but the majority of the country knows her for dating more athletes than making hits. You got an old guy and a young boy that won and disappeared just as quickly. Ruben Studdard big ass can’t eat a hit let alone make one and been stuck saying sorry since 2004. And don’t get me started on Fantasia…. My point is this. For the past decade we have been fed these everyday people as the next influences in entertainment, but none of their winners have been credible. Only the losers. So how do you cash in on that? Let’s quit looking for the sob stories and start focusing on the one thing people want to see….. The talent. Which brings me to THE VOICE. A show where actual singers are there to coach and train aspiring singers to bring it and leave on the stage. Not only that but pair up and battle other singers they are forced to bond with. No propaganda… Yet. No sponsorship dictating the winners…. Yet. Just a raw talent show with raw talent to match. Is it the best singing show on TV? No. If you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. Do I recommend it over IDOL? Fuck yeah. IDOL has one foot in the grave and the only one that doesn’t think so is JLO‘s big ass, and that’s because of them phat paychecks she gets to collect for being there.

REALITY SHOWS vs. ???: First The Hills came out as fake, the Hogan Family split up, The Osbournes finally kicked the cameras out and now everybody’s ex-wife has a show. I don’t understand how pimps can still serve time for their craft but VH1 been making hoes get strange for a little change for quite a bit now. Basketball Broads dropping draws like dominoes just to be talked about and even talked to. Housewives in Atlanta can’t go nowhere without hearing that big bitch Nene walking her bow-legged ass around being loud obnoxious. The Kardashians have so many shows that it’s hard to believe there are any camera men left. New Jersey all of a sudden became popular for being meat headed sh*t sacks of useless catch phrases and STD couriers. Any celebrity that need a second chance or just wanted the world to know they were still alive got a reality show. When did it become so important for us to know what someone else is doing? You want your kids to be successful? Buy them a camera and I assure you, they will never run out of work in this country. Do we hate our lives so much that we rely on dealing with someone else’s life rather than our own? Does any of this still count as REALITY TV anymore?

Last but not least….

U.S. vs. THEM: I got the feeling there is so much more to add but I been drinking while I wrote this and I can’t stop sweating. Beer was a bad choice, let alone 6. I mean DAMN!!!! My head is drenched and I got to eat some pancakes or sumthin’! You know we live in a very powerful country. And if we weren’t the powerful country then we would be the critical douche bags on the outside judging the number one power. The point I’m making is this, there is no such thing as a decent country. Every country on this planet was baptized in blood and had to re-nig on a deal to keep what they had. We are a country of pimps, whores, liars, triflin’ outsiders, radicals, savages, heartless back stabbers, hustlers, killers, muderous drug dealers, even some strippers…. But still we paid the cost to be the boss. And that’s why when a tragedy strikes we are always the first in line but you best believe the price better be right! So you can downplay celebrating Bin Ladi Da Di death and say we we’re right to celebrate his demise. But know that if a disaster strikes us or one of our beloved leaders should fall; will it be justified for another country to celebrate that?

Written By: Larry D. Williams II


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