June 22, 2010 at 4:49pm
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
I had something’s on my mind I wanted to share. Been on a rollercoaster ride you wouldn’t believe even if I told you. But I am not trying to kick up any drama on the internet cause I see people getting their facebooks hacked, Iphones snatched, nostrils raped and all kinds of sh*t. And I’m trying to have some sustenance in the notes that I write (offensive materials) on here without watering my opinions down to appeal to everybody. (Laker fans) I like to express myself truthfully, yeah I voted for Obama and yeah he has been f*ckin off lately. (Don’t shoot the messenger) I’ve seen this n*gga on TV taking a better stance on issues like where LeBron James should play, but I still haven’t heard a damn thing about an end to high gas prices (make BP give gas away for free) or high unemployment (BP hires people for clean up). No disrespect, I know the job is hard (not if Bush did it) but the man I voted for had his sleeves rolled up to do some work not bullshit with ESPN about who taking the NBA Championships this year.
Well the NBA Playoffs are done (let’s go NFL season) and sadly, my Boston Celtics fell 2 the L.A. Lakers. At least I don’t have to hear anything else from people who don’t really root for the Lakers but root against the Celtics just cause ya’ll favorite players couldn’t beat them by themselves (Lebron anyone?). But we’re not going to get into that right now because it’s true and its pointless 2 argue with me (plus I’ll fight you if I have to). But we all want to know where LeBron is going. What team is LeBron playing for next year? Well, if he really wants a championship ring on his finger, before he becomes injury prone, then Cleveland is out of the question (back to the top of the draft picks for you). But here are some of my top five teams that I think he can go all the way with.
5) New York Knicks- If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. And if you don’t win a ring here, at least your celebrity will keep you paid. Look at Patrick Ewing and he’s ugly as sh*t.
4) Miami Heat- No white man has ever led more Negroes to the promise land better than Pat Riley. Last time he rebuilt the Heat they went to the Finals and won with DeWayne Wade at the wheel. Now he plans 2 do the same around Wade and this time he’s got more money 2 blow.
3) Milwaukee Bucks- Ok, we can’t really offer LeBron much money. Hell, for the first two seasons, he might have 2 play for free. But if it’s about winning championships then why not the Bucks? Look how far we got without you, Michael Redd (b*tch ass) and Andrew Bogut. Plus we got plenty of women here lined up to make you there new baby’s daddy. I think we’re ranked 3rd in the NBA for Babies Mothers. (Pippen, Kemp, Spreewell and Jordan got down and you can too!)
2) Chicago Bulls- Clearly ready to rule the East once again or at least take a crack at it. The only thing missing from that team is LeBron James. And they’re ready to spend their salary cap money 2 get him. A young, solid team armed with some future hall of famers and a new coach. (Scottie Pippen himself might key your Bentley out of pure jealousy)
1) New Jersey/Brooklyn Nets- If he signs with this team, as is, not only will they be winners (and on MTV’s Jersey Shore), but I predict a dynasty in the making. (No, he cannot create a dynasty out of any team he signs with) Look this is a team that won only 12 games last year out of frustration over the organization itself. This is a very skilled and talented team and with LeBron as the top biller, he has probably one of the best supportive casts he has ever had in his career. PG Devin Harris, PF Drew Gooden and C Brook Lopez to name a few. Plus that Ivan Drago looking’ muthaf*cka as the new primary owner and Avery “Black Roach” Johnson as the head coach just adds to this already improving franchise. With LeBron and Jay-Z you’ll have one of the most improved, most expensive and most popular team in the league. (But I still say he should try the Bucks)
Sometimes I get on here and I’ll have something I really want to say. But after the first two sentences I’ll change my mind and be like “f*ck it…”, and go do something else (watch man vs. food). I don’t know if it’s my age creeping up on me or the reemergence of past people in my life that has me feeling like I should just sit back and wait for another bomb 2 fall. I’ve become a realist in so many ways that it scares me. I found myself taking a stance on certain sides of issues that I wouldn’t have before. Hell, I would’ve said “no comment b*tches”, at least. Like the “War”, for example. You know it’s been 9 years since the whole jump off and now this is the longest “War” in U.S. history (the war on drugs was a crap shoot). I know ya’ll like “Why does he keep using quotations on the word “War”?”, because it’s for those who choose to call it that. I grew up between 25th & Burleigh and 18th & Locust. And I know everybody remember Nino Brown taking over The Carter in “New Jack City” (remember the owner got walked out butt naked with a shotgun pointed to his head, kind of like that) and that wasn’t no war. We straight jacked that sh*t! Country and all. But people want us to pull out and now I’m like why should we? BP spilled almost half the oil we stole so we got to re-up. Plus we still need to hit Afghanistan too. We got Bin Laden over there kicking’ it still. And we already got these fools for oil, why stop there? Dammit, there is gold underground out there. Maybe, you might have ADD so I’m going to say it again. ***THERE IS GOLD UNDERGROUND OUT THERE*** and not just GOLD but Iron, Cobalt, Mercury and a bunch of other sh*t totaling in the value of… (Drum roll please) $1 TRILLION. (N*gga Please!!! Who’s driving!?) China already getting some of that Arab money and it’s still enough land for every country to claim and mine out. Pull out!? As good as it is, I say you stay in it till you get off. That’s a whole new job market opened up, plus enough to feed back to the people and return us back to a time when damn near everybody in your family owned more than one car (the Clinton administration).
In closing, I could go on & on about what I think this country needs till your sleep at the wheel (wake up dumbass), or till your d*cks in the dirt (some of you that have d*cks). But 2 tell you the truth, I have no f*cking clue what we need. And neither do you or the government running this country (duh). We are all simply trying 2 do the best we can with whatever we got 2 work with. That’s how it’s always been and if we’re smart we will accept it as how it’s always going to be. United we stand, divided we fall. Learning from our mistakes, like the one we made in Vietnam (not wearing a condom). It’s like that one song my family used to play around me when I was little, that taught me not 2 sweat the small stuff but just keep moving forward (sh*t, gottdamn, get off yo’ ass and jam!!!)
Written By: Larry D. Williams II